Never Grow Up
by MaidMikuruChan
Summary: "Ah! Duncan, what is that smell?" she shrieked as she sniffed her hands. Duncan chuckled as he continued to shake his hands. "I peed on them." "Ewh, ewh, ewh!" little!DxC drabbles.
1. preschool

preschool.

* * *

"Did you wash your hands?" Courtney asked her bathroom buddy as soon as he emerged form the boys' bathroom, a skeptical look was already decorating her face.

Duncan rolled his eyes as he held his hands out to her. "Of course I did."

Courtney leaned forward and took in a breath, quickly jumping back after the smell hit her sense. "Ewh! That is _not_ possible, they still smell like poo!"

Duncan shook his hair out of his eyes and crossed his arms. "What do you want me to do—wash them again?"

"Duh!" the brunette snapped, causing the boy to turn and walk back into the bathroom. "Don't dry them off so I can actually feel them to see if they're clean!"

After a few minutes, Duncan exited the boys' bathroom for a second time, his hand dripping water all over the tiles of the hallway. "Feel them so I can get back to playing making a Lego space ship with Geoff!"

Courtney grabbed onto his hands with hers and smiled. "Good job!"

"Can we go back now?" Duncan asked, shaking some of the water off his hands.

"Yeah," Courtney said as she went to wipe her nose. "Ah! Duncan, what is that smell?" she shrieked as she sniffed her hands.

Duncan chuckled as he continued to shake his hands. "I peed on them."

"You're kidding, right?" Courtney asked with wide eyes as she wiped her hands on her plaid dress frantically.

"Maaaaaaaaaybe," Duncan teased as he began walking down the hall towards their classroom.

"Ewh, ewh, ewh!" Courtney squealed as she ran into the girls' bathroom. "I'm going to ask Miss Davis to give me a new buddy!" she shouted as he heard the water shoot out of the facet at full blast.

Duncan laughed as he stopped walking and turned to wait for her, even though he had just grossed her out, he knew very well that she would still walk hand-in-hand with him to where their teacher was waiting.

* * *

little Duncan and Courtney are so cute. ^.^

~MMC


	2. kindergarten

kindergarten.

* * *

"I'm so excited that we are going to act out _Romeo and Juliet_!" Courtney squealed as she sat down at her usual lunch table. "Shakespeare is simply the most wonderful writer to ever exist."

Duncan rolled his eyes as before taking a bite of his green apple. "That's bull-crap," he commented as he chewed, his choice of words causing the brunette to gasp. "The best writer ever is Dr. Seuss—" he pointed at Courtney as she opened her mouth—"and don't even try to deny it, Princess."

Her mouth closed and she rolled her eyes, obviously not agreeing with the young boy's opinion. "Either way, we are performing_ Romeo and Juliet_, not _The Cat in the Hat_," she picked up her fork, signaling the end of their conversation.

"Well," Geoff chimed in, "I think we should do something awesomer, like The Matrix or something!"

"YES!" Duncan shouted as he gave the blond a high-five. "That would have been so kick-butt!"

"Duncan!" Courtney snapped as she was about to take a bite. "Stop your vulgar language before I get sick—I cannot eat and listen to you spout off your endless list of thoughtless profantity."

Duncan simply gave her a confused look. "Seriously. Do you even understand what the heck you're saying, because I sure as heck don't."

Bridgette kindly stepped in and pointed out the time. "Guys, if we keep talking we won't be able to finish our food."

"Fine," Duncan whined. "But just so we are all clear," he pointed his fork to each of the kids, then pointed it to himself, "_I _will be playing Romeo."

Courtney covered her mouth to keep from spitting out her sandwich. "Like heck you are!" she shouted, ignoring the fact that her mother would have smacked her for using the word 'heck'.

"No one else could play Romeo as well as me," Duncan said, puffing out his chest. "I am the only man in this whole school."

Courtney let out an awkwardly loud laugh. "Duncan, you're five—"

"And a half!" he interjected.

"Fine," Courtney said as she rolled her eyes. "You're five and half, a man is at least ten years old. You're only a little more than halfway to manhood."

"Listen, Princess, I don't know what a 'half' is, but I am sure that I am infinity times manlier than and ten-year0old I have ever met." Duncan sat back in his chair, leaving his food only half-eaten. "Plus, I'm a stud."

"One, you're not a stud—whatever _that_ is—and two, Romeo was a romantic gentleman, not a 'stud'—again, whatever _that_ is," Courtney argued, leaning across the table to get closer to him.

"My brother told me I was a stud at your birthday party, so I am," Duncan said with a knowing smile. "He's in high school, he knows _everything_."

Courtney opened her mouth to argue, but she was cut off when Miss Davis came over to tell them they only had five minutes until it was time to line up to go back to class. She settled for a glare before taking her leftover food to the trash cans on the other side of the cafeteria.

As soon as she was out of earshot Geoff asked, "What's a stud?"

"A lady's man," Duncan said as she put his arms behind his head. "Only _men_ can be a lady's man, since ladies are old. I know I can't be a girl's man because girls are freakin' gross... Well, except for Courtney I guess."

Geoff nodded like he understood. "Oh, is Bridgette gross?" he asked, checking to make sure she was still be the trash cans.

"Nah, she's cool," Duncan said with a wave of his hand.

"That's good," he said in relief, "I really like her."

Duncan scrunched up his face and shoved his chair back. "Ewh, don't say that kind of stuff," he said in a disgusted voice as he stood up. "I'm going to throw away my stuff and forget you said that..."

* * *

Duncan was a badass even as a kid, eh?

~MMC


End file.
